Inside the Walls: Tales and Truths from Life as a Penitentiary Staff

Just a Woman in a Man's World by: Tammy Wheeler 

As mentally competent & able-bodied adults, most of us, at some point in life, make a choice or decision where to work.  Our best efforts are usually made as to acquire a reasonable living wage to maintain a certain self-appointed standard of life & a livelihood of sorts. There are a vast number of career paths, for just about any walk of life, to choose from in this world. This can begin as early as our formative elementary aged years deciding what we want to be when we grow up that continues to develop into our adolescent teenage years. There are young people that make their best efforts to accomplish a certain set of goals at a young age to ensure the future they want. I was among these young minds once upon a time, setting expectations for what I intended my life to someday look like, without much wiggle room. Unfortunately, expectations are often set only to fail & especially when your “best efforts” are anything but that. I learned that what I had convinced myself was an “a-ha” moment, was nothing more than convincing myself to take a path of least resistance.  

Throughout my high school career, I had a detailed plan that consisted of precisely what & who I intended to one day be, which included, but certainly was not limited to, my career following high school, as well as college. I grew up in the very small town of Lovelady in east Texas. This was the only home I ever really knew considering I was just barely two when my family moved there.  As early as middle school, all I ever wanted to do was be anywhere else, except there! My high school graduating class consisted of a grand total of forty-eight students, the biggest class in some years too! Let me reiterate, FORTY-EIGHT students in my ENTIRE graduating class. My most significant focus, as soon as I hit ninth grade, was to get out of Lovelady, which I came to refer to as "hee haw hell" & to never come back! I did well in school despite only making the bare minimum effort. I made my “social life” my number one priority, under a misguided focus I deemed crucial. Most of us say or at least think at some point as adults: if I only knew then what I know now! In the past ten to fifteen years, I often have wondered had I made the choice to make school my only & number one focus, how differently my life would have been. That is not to say I have regrets though, just curiosity. I came to the realization long ago, but much later in life, that regret is nothing more than a misguided notion, that will never offer any solution or alternative of change.  

Throughout high school I was determined that I would someday to be a journalist, an Investigative Reporter to be specific. I began an academic path to lead me there in my freshman year of high school. I excelled in English with ease. I have always found myself to be good with words, as far back as I can remember. My mother would joke & tell others that I came out the womb talking. By the end of my senior year in high school, I had been accepted to Sam Houston State University, majoring in Broadcast Journalism, with a minor in English. Anyone who is unaware, this university is in Huntsville, Texas. Huntsville is about forty-five miles from the small town of Lovelady I grew up in. Huntsville & the surrounding area has a total of fourteen penitentiaries, known as the Texas Department of Criminal Justice, Region 1, but more importantly to me, at the time, it is the alma-mater of journalist, Dan Rather. He is an American news anchor for CBS, but his career spread over a time span of roughly four decades. He covered major historical events, such as the JFK assassination, the Watergate scandal, the impeachment & resignation of President Nixon, the fall of the Berlin Wall, the Gulf War, 9/11 & so many other historical events. He became a national name in September of 1961, after reporting on Hurricane Carla, which resulted in saving thousands of lives. We only had one channel on the television growing up & I watched him on the evening news almost every evening as an anchor on CBS. To say, I idolized him was a complete understatement. The fact that he had obtained his degree in Journalism from SHSU in 1953, was one of the most significant factors in why I chose Sam. I never even considered & or attempted to get into any other colleges. At eighteen years old, as a senior in high school, my top two goals that I wanted more than anything else was to get out of Lovelady, followed by a close second of becoming a successful, well-known journalist just like Dan Rather. A week after I graduated high school, I moved out of my parents' house, accomplishing my first goal. Then in the Fall of 1998, I began my journey to accomplish the second.  

While my parents were still financially assisting me in several ways if I was continuing to further my education, it was made clear that I was responsible for paying some of my own bills that could have been easily avoided had I chose to stay in a dorm on campus, rent free or had I chose to commute to school from my parents' home forty-five miles daily. Those two options were just not viable to my younger self because I was fully convinced that these two options would have held the same restrictions as my life throughout high school had. With my own choices would also come my own responsibility for paying bills such as rent, utilities, gasoline, groceries, etc. My father agreed to continue to pay any education necessities (books, supplies, etc.) that my scholarship didn't cover, for my car, the automobile insurance & any required maintenance for my car, but anything else, I was responsible for taking care of. Obviously, I was fully aware that this would require me to work & maintain a consistent paying job. I had worked a part time job as a grocery store cashier in the neighboring town of Crockett, sophomore to senior year in high school. I worked after school & during the Summers following my sixteenth birthday after obtaining my driver's license. Working a part time job was not a requirement by my parents in high school, but something they allowed that I chose to do. Their only stipulation was that I was maintain at least a B average. I chose to work for several reasons, but mostly so I could have a little independence & my own money to buy shoes or whatever I chose to buy! My mother had a school clothes budget allotted to spend annually. In my greedy, teenage mind, $50.00 for my sneakers, was no longer sufficient, when I turned sixteen!  The part time job as a cashier had provided me about three years of credible work experience, when I left for college. I was very fortunate in finding a job once I moved to Huntsville, at a local convenient store that was less than a few miles from where I was living. I put in numerous applications all over Huntsville immediately. I had no idea that this convenient store I had applied at, belonged to a young couple. The wife had been my student Ag teacher in high school that I was very fond of. They promptly hired me & later advanced me to a manager's position at one of their multiple stores. I became skilled & good at the job. I have always prided myself in being a quick learner. I was often commended by customers on my ability to make them feel welcome & want to become repeat customers. While the wife was super kind, but she had a stern, but reasonable side when she meant business. As for her husband, I immediately learned that he was a little harder to navigate being a little rough around the edges. She had gotten to know me well when I was her student, but he, however, did not know me at all. They were running a successful business & as most business owners can confirm, good help that is trustworthy is hard to come by. I knew I had some work to do to truly prove myself to him. Prior to hiring me as the manager, they had struggled with finding someone dependable, reliable & truly trustworthy. The husband made sure that I knew this. Initially, I was convinced that he was mean & just did not like me! After some months, I came to realize that it wasn't necessarily me he didn't like, but more that he didn't like folks to waste his time with laziness. He did not play around about those who were irresponsible with what provided his livelihood. Bad behavior was not an option his staff had & considered as much to be nothing short of blatant disrespect.  This was my first job where I truly held a position of real responsibility. I didn't grasp that right away & made some mistakes along the way. One incident that I have never forgotten, was after a night of drinking & partying, I came into work at 5:30 a.m., after only an hour or two of sleep reeking of alcohol still. I won't go into a whole lot of specifics, but this was not one of my prouder moments in my young adult life. There is an intended purpose in mentioning this incident, so bear with me. This was well over twenty-five years ago, so I cannot quote word for word or tell you the specifics of what either of them said to me that morning, but what I can tell you is they got dead off in my ass & rightly so! However, what they did not do, but very easily could have been justified in doing though, was to terminate me! This was not the only bad decision I made throughout my time working there, but I would say it was probably one of the worst, considering how it has resonated with me throughout my entire life. I am not sure if they realized & the opportunity to tell them has not presented itself, but they both got my heart right teaching me the importance of accountability, throughout my time at S & S Express. I made some epic mistakes then & have made many throughout my life, but thanks to this couple, I learned to do my very best not to repeat same epic mistakes that are due to my own choices of bad behavior. There is no such thing as identical, repeated mistakes, the second one is a conscious choice without regard to consequences, which results in a behavioral pattern. I am forever grateful to the both of them for being proper authority figures that I learned from, in my young adult life. They instilled in me the core fundamentals & values of what work ethics entail. Many of which I still utilize to this very day at forty-five years old. There were times she even helped me with homework & advised me on my behavior regarding school attendance & priority. 

  Despite heeding my parents warning that if I quit school they would not pay for any of my bills & I would be solely on my own, I still decided to drop out of school after the first year & to place all my focus on a career path. Are you thinking I chose to stay working as the manager at the convenient store for the young couple that was so good to me? If so, please realize that would have just made way too much sense & sense was something I had very little of at this point in life! Instead, I discovered & decided on a career path as a Correctional Officer for the State of Texas. No big deal, just the state in the United States of America with the largest penal system in the entire nation. This was at a time when 1 of every 10 people sentenced to incarceration within the US were incarcerated within a Texas penitentiary. This was also during an era when the average, maxed out, correctional officer made an average of $44,000 annually. After taxes, that was around (roughly estimated) $1500 starting out per month. In the late 90’s, early 2000’s, in the mind of a, then, 19-year-old, that was not only big money, but easy money as well!  

Now let's get to the good stuff & my entire intended purpose here.... 

I had nearly a twenty-year career in corrections & is very significant part of who I currently am, all the way down to my very core. Maintaining a career in corrections is just not something everybody is capable of.  It is not what most women would consider a typical career or as job choice & rightly so. I do not say this to imply it as being negative towards those who choose this path or towards those who do not. It simply statistical fact that corrections are not among common careers for a woman in the United States. (Source: https://www.dol.gov/agencies/wb/data/occupations/most-common-occupations-women-labor-force). Corrections is career path that requires a certain skill set. One that I found to be crucially, fundamental was the ability to remain calm under intense pressure. This skillset helped me to properly develop an uncanny ability to thrive under, just about any kind of applied pressure. Inside the walls of a penitentiary this makes your day & entire shift run a whole lot smoother & more importantly, will often play a highly significant role in a correctional officer's actual survival. Often, this determined my fate as to possess the capability of simply walking out those locked gates mentally & physically unharmed.  

My unit of assignment was always within male penitentiaries, considering there are many more facilities for the 92% of the prison population are male offenders & females only consist of 8% in the state of Texas (Source: https: //texasprisons.org /spreadsheet/) This was the environment I learned to adapt in simply because my very financial livelihood relied on me doing so. On any given day, a common occurrence is to be surrounded by, no less than 200-300 incarcerated, convicted felons. When I say surround by, I truly men SURROUNDED by within five to six feet most days, depending on what area of assignment a staff member is given. Let’s also reiterate that these are fully grown men within a few arms’ length. The term “reach out & touch someone” is not one to live by in there! When I initially drove up in 1999, I was 19 years old. I was young, hot-headed & stood & still stand at a whole five foot nothing. I had completed a six-week training academy that had the intended purpose of placing us into the mindset to “stay ready to keep from getting ready at all times!” This was an entirely different era to the one we are currently in! We had our upper administration motivating us with speeches such as "go hard or go home, if you can’t do the job, the go work at Wal Mart", etc.! They were not doing this just to pump us up or to instigate, but they would do this to ensure we were perceived as a unified front for our own safety considering we were always outnumbered by about 10 to 1. Inside those walls, knowledge is power, and for a woman, that is in a literal man’s world, words are weapons! Most women cannot go toe to toe physically with most grown men. I don’t care what they may claim. I did everything within my power to never let most encounters escalate to the point as to provide that opportunity.

At every facility I have worked at, the average number of offenders is around 2,000 to roughly 3,000. At that time, women outnumbered male staff members four to one, easily. We were trained to walk into those walls with “no” on the tip of our tongues. After all, it tends to be easier to turn a “no” into a “yes” later, if necessary, rather to attempt to turn a “yes” into a “no”. As it tends to be with any large group of human beings, convicted felons or otherwise, the key fundamentals are to simply pay attention & to always be aware of your surroundings. This, like any strategy, is not perfect or unflawed. Expecting the unexpected is always an available possibility!  Overall & in general, paying attention has proven to be effective as a preventive measure, then to act accordingly, under most circumstances. Human behavioral patterns tend to usually be predictable enough with consistent utilization of the power of observation; however human beings & the reasons they tend to choose to do what they do, are not always quite that simple, as most of us have come to know the hard way. The environment inside the penitentiary stays escalated & the tension stays high. Correctional staff is responsible for maintaining secure control, always, under any & all circumstances.  When you confine a significantly large number of adult human beings together, most are going to feel an immediate pressure to prove themselves to others, in some capacity or another. That applies to both staff and those incarcerated. In my experience, penitentiaries function like an entirely different world within the world.  There is nothing equivalent on any television show or any movie that I have ever come across.  

Those initial moments of time when a staff member first arrives to the unit of assignment, are the most critical for them. This is where the momentum & overall structure is set & usually tends to stay. Those guys have nothing but time to watch how staff members move & to pay attention to the decisions they make. An emotionally reactive individual will, metaphorically, be eaten alive! A vast majority of the offenders are just waiting for any displayed moment of vulnerability to prey on. The staff turnover rate for the Texas Department of Criminal Justice, of the 26,000 correctional officers who worked on the 104 facilities, 28% them left their jobs in 2017. As of April 2018 (the year I left) there were over 3,000 vacant positions for correctional officers statewide,(Source:  https: //www .prisonlegalnews.org /news /2018/oct/12/low-pay-high-staff-turnover-drive-texas-prison-guard-shortage/) There are a multitude of sources all over the internet that provide some insight about staff turnover rates. Among the vast majority of each list, will include these two: underpaid staff & staff being manipulated by inmates to do something they are fully aware is either against policy or illegal. I cannot even begin to put a number on how many officers I have seen lose their job behind a convict manipulating them over those twenty years! During my time there, working on four different facilities, I am confident in saying that an inappropriate relationship with an offender (romantic or bringing in contraband) was probably the number one reason so many people lost their jobs & career. As for me, I just got burn out with the repetition & had some personal issues outside of work that I needed to take care of. I was good at my job & if I cannot do anything else in life, I am confident in saying that I can manage convicts & can do so effectively. I may someday go back & retire from the agency.

Being in corrections is not for the weak minded. There is a certain level of confidence that must be maintained & that is clearly obvious to have a successful career in corrections. This requires bringing that level of confidence in all you do, which includes, but is not limited to, how you move, speak & carry yourself inside those walls. There are those who begin this career path, that have never had any kind of proper authority over another. Some of these individuals will allow that very minimal amount of authority to go straight to their head. These people fail to realize that in hindsight, they are simply allowing it to go completely over their heads. They often cause staff assaults, will lose their job & or at times, are never taken seriously at anything they say or do within that environment. I learned quickly, it was all about obtaining & properly enforcing policy, rules & procedure.

Remaining consistent in saying what you mean & meaning what you say while being firm & fair each & everyday matters. This became a way of life for me. Our words hold power when utilized efficiently. My word is my bond in all that I do in life. This career taught me early on just how important respect for others truly is. This includes giving respect, as well as receiving it. Treating others how you want to be treated as long as it proves to be viably possible, under equal circumstance, truly can hold value. We tend to get what we give in just about all aspects of life. Only under extenuating circumstances have I found this to not be true.  

Overall, our criminal justice system is most definitely a flawed system, both world & nationwide. It always has been & it will always be, but despite what some may be led to believe, it is usually an effective system designed to be about our very own choices & the consequences they can hold! Accountability matters! I am not speaking on recidivism, but the actual concept of incarceration & what it entails. To incarcerate is to be placed in confinement, to be isolated from others (for whatever reason) but usually under these circumstances, that includes a forced legal obligation that is done to reduce the opportunity of danger, reducing a risk that is to maintain a level of safety among society. There are far too many misconceptions about what incarceration should & or should not be, rather than placing focus on what it is & it’s intended purpose. This has and always will be disputed among society. Unless an individual has personally been exposed to penitentiary life, whether staff or the incarcerated, the concept is often misunderstood & expressed under a misguided perception from a one-sided perspective. Correctional officers are generally not considered law enforcement but are usually known as Peace Officers in most states throughout the United States. In my humble opinion, most corrections staff are not only highly underpaid, but also highly unappreciated. The public fails to recognize what the vast majority properly & effectively do regularly. They often are overlooked for the positive results the accomplish, but yet intensely spotlighted & villainized by the actions of a few for any negative outcomes. Police officers consistently assume the risk of the unknown & all its possibilities, when encountering individuals within society on a regular basis. I have the upmost respect for efficient law enforcement officers. The most significant difference between law enforcement & correctional staff, is that the correctional staff knowingly makes the conscious decision daily, to be face to face with what they know are a multitude of confirmed & convicted violent criminals. Among those criminals, a large number of them are masters at mass manipulation. The majority of them are repeat offenders with convictions such as murder, sexual assault, aggravated assault, pedophilia & so very much more. Similar to law enforcement, they also make an oath to protect & serve, but in corrections the most fundamental duty & core responsibility is to ensure those convicted criminals, that law enforcement apprehended with the capability to use firearms, also are to be protected, that they remain safe & always accounted for day & night while remaining within the confinements of a penitentiary they were unwillingly, but legally sentenced to as punishment. These men & women voluntarily absorb all that risk in the name of protecting society with nothing more than 1.5 ounce can of OC pepper spray, under occasional circumstances, a riot baton, but most importantly relying on their co-workers to continually have their backs, or what we referred to as "having your six".